Back Up Plans (depressing post warning)

If you've noticed a decline in political posts lately it is for the simple reason that I can't watch the news for too long anymore before I get all sad and freaked out. Naturally, I'm a little less up on current events and the soap opera that the 24 hour news turns them into. I understand however that the big thing right now is the stimulus package. If it works, we still have years of recession to work through and a trillion dollars of debt to repay. If it doesn't work, nobody knows but I've heard everything from a second great depression to the government collapsing (I'll go ahead and say I think that if America had a valid presidential election during the civil war, the government will remain pretty sound through this too).

When I start to get worried about something I'll generally come up with a worst-case-scenario plan, so that I know that no matter how bad it gets, I'll at least know what to do. Here are some of my backup plans for various scenarios.

Scenario 1 - I can't find a job anywhere! I'll join the peace corps. For two years I will make almost no money, but I will be provided for and may even be able to get a graduate degree in the process. During two years the country will probably have started to recover, so by the time I get out I'll have two years good experience plus that possible extra degree. Other people might want to consider the military for better pay but I personally couldn't handle that.

Scenario 2 - Money Becomes Worthless Oh noes! Well, since I don't have that much right now at least I wouldn't be losing that much. I suppose I would squat in my house (or one near it) and try to get by. I would probably not work, since it would require paying for gas which I couldn't afford with the money I'd be making. It would be like a big camping trip, but with a house instead of a tent. I would likely team up with a group of my friends for more safety and better resources.

Scenario 3 - South Carolina Tries To Secede... Again This would make the fourth time it has been attempted. Anyway, I'd probably leave. New England here I come. (This one is really just an oddball possibility, don't take me too seriously)

Scenario 4 - Government Collapses Well... F*ck. I suppose I'll just have to do what everyone else does and survive. Again, probably team up with some amigos, maybe grow some vegetables, loot some grocery stores and play defend your castle for a while. At least it's not as cold as Russia...

The Little Things: Inauguration Day

Everyone in the whole world is talking about the inauguration day and most of them are repeating themselves, but I have just a few things to add to the mix, and I'll try be as original as possible.

____First of all, I thought Rick Warren did a pretty good job with the prayer. It was a bit long, but he certainly did not seem to be using the occasion to push his own religious or political agenda. He did however make me (and all my friends) laugh hysterically at the way he said "Malia and SASHA!" This spiraled off into a game of who could say "SASHAAAaa!" with the most pizazz.
____The John Williams piece was beautiful, as expected. Simple gifts was beautifully arranged. I particularly enjoyed watching Yo-Yo Ma. He looked like he was having so much fun playing up there. The last three notes were crunch-tastic.
____So the speech... It was moving, it was nice, but honestly I felt like he's done better. I followed the campaign pretty closely from Iowa on, and my favorite speeches of his come mostly from the primaries (My tops were the Iowa victory speech, the now-famous "yes we can" speech, the South Carolina victory speech, and the election night speech). What I DID really notice and appreciate most from the speech however was the declaration that America is a friend to every nation who seeks peace and dignity. This stands in stark contrast to the "our way or the highway" (and by highway we mean lots of bombs) Bush era idea that only democracy was a valid system for a prosperous and peaceful country.
____None of the talking heads commented on it, but I definitely heard the crowd singing "Nananana, Nananana, hey hey hey, Good bye!" at Bush's helicopter as it circled capitol hill one last time. Poor guy. I mean, I do hope he knows that he let us down, and it was kind of a funny moment for spontaneous song, but he's retired now. Can't we banish him to Texas with a little bit of dignity? At least until somebody puts him on trial? (C'mon Fitzgerald, I know you've got it in you)
____Oh and the next day Obama and crew actually did stuff! So good job! Know who didn't do a good job the next day? Every 24hour news channel. Okay we have a new president. We can either talk about the new policy changes he just signed (like closing Gitmo, putting a choke collar on lobbyists, redefining the Freedom of Information Act, and putting a pay-freeze on some of his staff) or... "OMG Lets do a feature on Michelle's dress!! Did you hear the kids were wearing J. Crew?"

Big Unflattering Stories You May Not Have Heard

The US Helped Put Saddam In Power
Okay, this one isn't so much under reported as not remembered and not often brought up (seeing as we spent a lot of time and energy getting him out of power, bringing that up would do little for the cause)

The Anthrax Attacks of 2001 Were Probably Perpetrated by an American
Bruce Ivins was an American biodefense scientist who worked for the army. He died of an overdose in July of 2008 before standing trial for killing 5 people by sending them anthrax in the mail. Thats right. That was this guy.Really, kind of a sweet looking guy. Too bad he was basically the next Tylenol killer. On top of killing people and stirring up national panic, he helped create up the pro-war sentiment that ended up landing us in Iraq. Reason you may not have heard about it? Possibly national pride, probably not wanting to further upset the 65% of Americans who believe the war is no longer worth fighting.

The Internet Is Out of Control
The government can't stop hackers. Net neutrality is still an uphill battle. Property and copyright laws are so far behind many people see no other choice than to resort to pirating. For instance I can buy a movie legally on iTunes, but unless I want to watch it on my computer screen, I have to use open source software to (hypothetically) rip a bootleg copy that will work in my DVD player.

Traditional journalism has started to rely more heavily on the "blogosphere" where facts are often even more confused and exagerated than on the networks themselves. This is because it is faster, easier and cheaper than doing real investigative work. In addition, the government doesn't even ask for a warrent to spy on citizens using the internet. Take for example Magic Lantern, and Black Widow. Reasons you may not have heard about it? I'm not sure. It might be because it is scary. It might also be that the major media companies don't want to muck up a chance at controling the net when everything settles down, so they just arn't talking about it. Or maybe nobody cares but the nerds and the corporations.

Gulf War Syndrome is Real
In December 2008, a federal report finally confirmed that the illness really does exist. Symptoms include pain problems, neurological damage, and respiratory problems among others. For years, soldiers and veterans have been reporting the illness without verification from the larger community that it was real. Why have you probably not heard the story? It was the US government's fault (not a biological weapon as some had previously assumed). The syndrome is a side effect of a widely used pesticide meant to keep bugs off the troops and equipment.

Puppies!

As much as I love to resist the pull of emotion in favor of reason when it comes to things like politics, I am PUMPED about the Obama puppy! Ever since he promised one to his girls on election night I have been totally captivated. The secret, dark evil part of me wants him to get a stereotypically black dog just to completely challenge anyone to make fun of him. The rest of me just wants to see a cute puppy! Good lord how did I get so wrapped up in this?

Apparently I'm not the only one. At his first press conference after the election he got questions from reporters about it when they were supposed to be focused on the economy. Obama responded with the concerns of his family on this "pressing issue" and in the process referred to himself as a mutt (maybe he shares my secret dark evil sense of humor about what breed they should get). There's even www.nameobamaspuppy.com (Bar(ac)k the vote!).

It's so cute I can't stand it. Even if I have to put up my "refusing to be swayed by emotional news stories" hat for a while. OOohshapuppy!!!